8 Ways to Sunday

I’ve been doing my best to stay away from the bizarre celebrity coupling that’s become known as “TomKat,” but a recent article on Salon.com got my attention. Apparently, Holmes has gone into full-on Stepford Fiancée mode…

Katie Holmes’s eerie behavior during an interview for women’s mag W has cranked the creepiness factor of the Cruise–Holmes relationship to 11. Interviewer Robert Haskell paints a disturbing portrait of Holmes, “her beautiful green eyes focused on nothing in particular,” rambling on worshipfully about her beau in response to every question, no matter what the topic. The non-sequiters flow fast and furious:

Do you worry that this might be a rebound romance for either of you?

“I’ve never met anyone like Tom.”

Do you ever wonder whether this is just a honeymoon phase?

“Tom and I will always be in our honeymoon phase.”

Do you feel that, with more relationship experience, you get better at resolving conflicts?

“Meeting Tom—I’m just exhilarated. He makes me laugh, we have fun, we understand each other, everything is so aligned. I feel so lucky and so—like I’ve been given such a gift, such a gift, you know?” She pauses. “And it’s just really amazing.”

Is there anything you guys don’t have in common?

“You know, we appreciate each other.”

Has it been a challenge to make his kids feel comfortable?

“They’re just exceptional people.”

Isn’t it an adjustment to move in with someone—and after only a month?

“He’s the man of my dreams.”

Does he leave his dirty socks on the bedroom floor? Something? Anything?

“No.”

The glassy-eyed stare of true love? (photo from W magazine)

Perhaps even more troubling was the (required) presence of her new “best friend” — high-ranking Scientologist Jessica Rodriguez — at the interview. Holmes recently announced that she’s converting to the kooky alien cult alternative religion, which her man Tom is a vocal proponent of. Rodriguez jumped in to answer one question on Holmes’s behalf (about rumors that the pairing is a publicity stunt), and at one point prompted the starlet with “You adore him” when Holmes seemed to be running out of effusive praise.

Finally, there are the pictures that accompany the article, one of Katie in a wedding dress. In almost every photo, she has this creepy glazed-over look in her eyes that chills the spine. What on earth is happening to this woman? Shouldn’t someone stop it?

(Props: Salon.com and Mostly Fit to Print)

Elsewhere…

• Visit Operation Clambake, run by an ex-Scientologist of thirty years, for the low down on the cult.
• Gizmodo offers the scoop on the e-meter, a key piece of Scientology’s “spiritual technology.”
• Columnist Mark Morford predicts that it’s only a matter of time before Cruise decides to make a film called The Passion of the Hubbard (science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard founded Scientology in the 1950s).
• TomCruiseIsNuts.com — The name says it all. Full of memorable quotes such as, “There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance” and “It’s just like, ‘Huh? Wow, man. Wow.’…”

Updates

• 7/16/2005 @ 10:26 PM — I wasn’t aware of this, but evidently Katie Holmes has been dropped from the next Batman movie by Warner Brothers (via). The general speculation is that the studio was fed up with her ever-present Scientology babysitter. Katie: if you thought hooking up with Tom would be good for your career, let this be lesson number one. Also, the FOX News web site has an editorial on the disturbing W interview. Read it for some more details on Jessica Rodriguez, Holmes’s new minder. Scary chick, that one.
• 7/16/2005 @ 11:12 PM — Added a cropped version of the W cover photo, so you can see what I mean about Holmes’s creepily lifeless expression.
• 4/21/2006 @ 7:50 PM — Little did I know, but the genius behind TomCruiseIsNuts.com hails from Wichita, KS. It’s just a short drive from where I live.
• 2/3/2007 @ 2:02 PM — Cruise promises to eat Katie’s placenta, proclaimed to be the Christ of Scientology.